Yes, yes: using agreement in feedback

A disappointed student about to begin feedback.
[Yes or No via wikimedia]

When asking a student for self-reflection during feedback, I find agreeing with the student immediately afterwards sets a tone of mentorship and collaboration right from the start.

Whether the self-reflection was positive or negative, I can still find something to agree with: "Yes, I thought you did that well" or  "Yes, I agree that was the weakest part."

I can agree with a student even if I think they're wrong! If a student says something like "I thought I listened well" and I don't share that assessment, I say something like, "Yes, I'm glad you're paying attention to that! As a patient that's very important to me, too." And then we talk about how they could have done it better.

I have also found agreement is a useful tool when faced with students feeling quite negatively about themselves or the encounter. A natural reaction is to minimize their feelings or try to comfort/console them, but hypercritical students won't be able to hear good feedback until their perspective is acknowledged. So rather than saying "Don't be so hard on yourself!" or "No, you did fine!" instead I try to take a step back: "I understand you're disappointed" or "You seem disappointed" followed by "I know you want to [do the right thing, whatever it is]. As a patient I didn't notice that, though. What I saw was [x]." When I acknowledge the student's disappointment, they noticeably relax and we can continue with constructive feedback.