When learners cry

"When doves cry..."
[L'enfant à la colombe via wikimedia]

Only a handful of students have cried while working with me, but they have all been memorable. But I don't take it personally, because they always happen during high-stress scenarios, like when the event is required to pass or when my character has been terrifying. Sometimes the learner is suffering from something happening in their life which magnifies any bump in our encounter into an insurmountable challenge.

Usually these encounters are unsatisfying, but the learner generally holds it together during the scenario. When feedback begins, though, so do the tears. In those situations, I've learned that feedback about the encounter in those cases is almost entirely wasted. What is more helpful is to explore what triggered the student and what's going on for them. Empathy first works for learners, too! If there's time, I may also give feedback about compartmentalization, stress management and how to manage negative thoughts.

In general, feedback should role model the kind of interaction you want with providers. So if I stay with my traditional feedback agenda in those cases, I am training learners to stick to their agendas despite the emotional and nonverbal cues a patient is exhibiting.